When Words Become Mirrors: Discovering Your Hidden Values

The other day, I was in a simple conversation with a colleague.

 She asked me a question, and as I responded, I noticed her face light up. Then she paused and said, “It seems this is one of your values.”

What was she pointing out?
The word fun.


I had used it multiple times without even realizing it. 

In that moment, I smiled—because she was right. I like work, learning, even social interactions, to be fun and engaging. That’s when I’m at my best.


But that short exchange did something else. It made me curious: what other words do I use a lot?



 As I reflected, another one stood out: intentional.

I’m intentional about the things I do. I reflect deeply before making decisions.

This is where my NLP background kicks in. 


In neurolinguistic programming, we pay attention to the language people use—because words don’t just describe experience; they reveal the values, patterns, and filters behind experience. 

When someone repeats certain words, they’re unconsciously pointing you toward their internal compass.

For me, words like fun and intentional show what drives me:

  • Fun keeps me light, curious, and creative.

  • Intentional keeps me purposeful, grounded, and reflective.


 

1Interestingly, not everyone’s compass points in the same direction. 


Some people’s repeated words are safe, stable, efficient, peace, or service. Others are wired for growth, success, or adventure. There’s no “better” word—it’s simply how their values show up in language.

As an educator coach, I find this fascinating.

 Imagine what happens when teachers or parents start listening to their own repeated words—and also to those of their students.



 The words are not random; they’re clues. They tell us:


🔶 What matters most to this person?


🔶 What state of mind energizes them.


🔶 How can we connect with them more meaningfully?


For me, “fun” and “intentional” (besides "thrive, "sustainability", and "consistency") have now become part of my teaching and leadership philosophy.

 

I want learning to be fun—but never careless. Intentional—but never rigid. 

That balance is where growth and connection thrive.



Your Turn: Discover Your Word-Values Profile

I've put together a quick reflective exercise, and I invite you to try:


  1. Notice your words. Think back to your recent conversations. What words do you catch yourself using again and again?

  2. Write them down. List at least 3–5 words that stand out.

  3. Ask yourself why. For each word, reflect: What does this word say about me? What value is it pointing to?

  4. Claim it. Turn your words into a mini statement, e.g., “I value growth and stability. I create spaces where both can coexist.”


Voila! That’s your Word-Values Profile—your unconscious values made visible.😉



☘️


So here’s my challenge to you: over the next few days, listen carefully to your own words. You may just find that your repeated words are whispering the story of what truly drives you. And once you know them, you can live and teach from that place with more clarity and power.


If you do this exercise, I’d love to hear your word-values profile. 

Share it with me—I’m curious what your words are saying about you. 😊






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